Saturday, January 20, 2007
I Hate Harry Potter.
I really do. This guy has to be the gayest thing on earth. Not only is he some kind of demonic spawn of a woman with half a walnut for a brain, but he *Hold Breath* flies! On a broomstick, which would've served a better purpose of whacking him silly on the head. Coming to think of it, no wonder Lord Voldemort's so pissed off all the time. Just when you have a chance of blowing up what could be the worlds biggest pest into a thousand gory pieces, he gets away will a measly scar on his head and a really gloomy disposition on life. So we see him wave his wang through school (Spelling mistake intended!), try and miserably fail at taming weird creatures, swallow potions, and by some weird miracle, not choke and die in a puddle of his own urine.
And his sidekick Ron Weasley. Why does he have a constipated look on his face all the time? Is it all the slugs he puked out once? Hard to have a witty and intelligent look on your mug when you're housing slugs in your gut. And, to make matters worse, he has a twisted mouth.
One of the better pictures of Ron.
This man has a fan following, hell, it doesn't take much to get people to worship you, does it?
And then, there's Rowling's answer to King Kong; a mumbling, bungling half-giant by the name of Hagrid, whose wittiest and smartest line would be a gape. Expelled as a student, now a gamekeeper, and a 'teacher' (In the loosest sense), kids, don't cut school unless you want to become like him. Asshole.
I read the last two books, and what a drag. Hell, I ended up substituting wand for "wang" and similar words as I read along to amuse myself more.
Frankly speaking, I didn't mind the first four books. After those, the hype grew, Rowling had hear head inflated, rowlled in hard green cash, found a husband, won some awards, married again, and has probably saved enough to pay for the education of her grand-kids too.
The fifth and sixth book, we see Harry transform from a lonely, love-deprived, unlucky child, given to sneaking off at forbidden hours to a moody, lonely, love-deprived, unlucky child, much given to sneaking off at forbidden hours and bitting pretty much everyone's head off. They lack a plot, and are littered with poor attempts at humor and 'old book magic'. The only life-savers in that book are Fred and George Weasley, Ron's older (and much better) brothers. We see Ron lash out at Hermione, who's alright, at frequent intervals, get a girlfriend, and make the book longer than the Lord Of The Rings movie. The sixth book left me with a major headache, with vague plots, dry dialogues, and BORING detentions.
He's to blame for the scores of annoying names forummers come up with, Potter_fan, Hermione_Grl, Iluvdraco, harry_rulz, and more which I won't mention to prevent myself from smashing my keyboard with my head.